The Language we use, shapes us.
Even more importantly, shapes what people think of us. Many of these words are ones we would initially
think are OK.But then we consider how they might be heard by unchurched (bad word!) persons.
If we care what they think of us, and whether they would want to associate with us,
we must care how our language shapes their opinion of us.
Unchurched vs. seekers: This may be an accurate description of some people and
not overly insulting to them, but it shapes our thinking in the wrong way.
“Unchurched” refers only to a person’s relationship with an institution. We
probably all know people who are church members, but no more. In other words,
they are ‘churched’ but not growing closer to God.
Seekers: This word was in vogue for a long time but isn’t used as much anymore.
I am still searching for a better word! These are the people we describe in the
section on potential as people who believe in a higher power, do not have
a spiritual home, and would be willing to discuss spirituality if they trust us
enough.
Nones & Dones: When we talk about an audience for our work we
frequently hear the term “the nones”. This term is used to identify
people who believe in God but when asked about their domination,
they respond ‘none’. It is important to understand they may say they
are Christian but answer ‘none’ when asked about a specific affiliation.
Dones are an important subset of ‘nones’. “Dones’ are people who
were active In church but for some reason are no longer. It may be
they were hurt in a church. My guess, no research I know of to back me
up, many of them found nothing worth their time in a church --- a topic
for a LONG conversation.
Members: I don’t care where the legal paperwork is! I use ‘members’ to refer to
anyone who is active in the church. Sometimes I will use non-members instead of
‘seeker’ but that again focuses on the institutional relationship.
Evangelism: A word likely to create misunderstanding among both our members
and seekers. Our members are likely to think they are being asked to knock on
stranger’s doors or approach people in the park. Neither is true.
Seekers are likely to hear the threat of being attacked by people wanting
them to ‘find Jesus’!
Within our team we use ‘evangelism’ to mean deep spiritual conversations
between trusted friends. We understand that such conversations are, unfortunately,
rare because the required sense of trust seldom exists.
Pre-evangelism: Few people outside our team will understand this term but it
summarizes our entire effort in one word. Pre-evangelism is the process by which
we create the trusting environment necessary for evangelism.
Church vs. Congregation: This is another word which must be used occasionally
and which we seldom think is bad. However, to seekers this word denotes the
institution (bad) or the building (unimportant). This is exactly how we use the
word: I am going to the church (building). I attend the church. (institution) I
substitute congregation whenever I can.
Visitor vs. Guest: The clearest explanation of why we avoid ‘visitor’ is when we
contrast it with guest. Consider how you treat a ‘visitor’ to your home, the UPS
delivery person for example verses how you treat the guest you invited for dinner.
Once this change in thinking is internalized, we understand how we should treat
new people.
Greeter vs Host: Again, internalizing the difference helps us understand the entire
philosophy. Imagine a large church. You might have three ministries occurring at
the same time. The ‘greeter’ opens the door and says ‘welcome’. The ‘host’
spends time with new people. The ‘usher’ hands out bulletins.
In such a church, using the word ‘greeter’ is perfectly acceptable. But in the
vast majority of Episcopal churches there are not three people, and frequently only
one – the usher. The usher may also do some greeting in the sense of saying
‘welcome – glad you are here’. But the usher cannot spend time with the new
person.
A host spends as much time with the new person as helpful. {{link to host
training}} Every church should have hosts in addition to ushers.
Newcomer vs first time: The only problem with ‘first time with us’ is when it is
used in an announcement. If this is your first time with us, please …… Many
people do not fill out a form or talk to a member on their first visit. They consider
themselves ‘newcomers’ for a long time. Don’t worry, if they already completed
the form, they won’t feel compelled to complete a second one.
Jargon Very Bad! When we use Episcopal jargon, we are not only failing to
communicate, we are also projecting a feeling that we don’t care if the new person
understands! One version of jargon that is easy to forget is when we announce:
just ask Betty for information about the event. If I was interested in the event, am I
supposed to go around asking for Betty? (instead, have Betty stand.)
More common is our use of ‘insider words’. “Jargon is any word you have not
used outside the church in the last two weeks.” That does not mean we avoid
words like “Eucharist” or narthex. It means we explain, we teach when we use
jargon.
A post that says “a service of MP will be held in Mary Jones chapel”. Tells non-
members nothing except they are not invited.
